BREATHES A GIANT SIGH OF RELIEF.

THE GREAT CTS ARE OVER.

HA HA HA HA.

alright alright.
i am tremendously relieved that they're finally over but before i go on,
let me say a big THANK YOU TO ALL WHO PRAYED FOR ME,
MY PARENTS. DEAREST DEAREST MOOSE. ACCIDENT BUDDY ESTHERR. DEAREST MUMMMYYYY. CHARLENE. TING. LAOHONG CO-BOSS. GUNO. WIEKY. JOLYNN. MY CELL.
and all who really pushed me on and heard me whine and scream and talk rubbish.


haha.
and of course, how could i not say thanks to my dearest jesus.

to you:

thank you so much for seeing me through this whole period. thank you for always being the one pushing me on, waking me up and telling me to study even though i still go back to sleep. thank you so much for giving me the courage to walk through the lts without screaming or doing anything stupid. thank you for always giving me joy, for being the one that makes me smile all the time, for giving me the strength to face the day. thank you so much. oh! i really can't thank you enough really really. and im so so sorry for the times when i've let you down, for being lazy or too distracted. (oh dear, i know i dont have to spill them all here.) you know everything that has been going on through my mind and yet you still love me so so much. thank you so much(: its really funny imagining you going online in heaven or smth and reading this. haah bet ure laughing now. oh dear, and yes for putting up with all my talking rubbish to you and funny stuff i do while im studying.
thank you lord(:


haha! there! i can go on and on ive realised about everything.
sighs.
its really been a long but fast week.
dahh and i were just exclaiming how fast everything was,like we just watched pirates 3 when school ended and we almost watched transformers like one month later but it DID NOT seem like ONE MONTH AT ALL. and taufiq gave us his weird stare again. haha. he's a full-of-expressions guy. so funny.and he looks quite nice with his specs. and yes nasrul! i wore the HEALTH NUT BADGE in plaza sing k! haah. i forgot to wear in school la. and its during exams. the teachers will stare. haha. and oh stella stella. this guy never fails to make me laugh. i had a laughing fit the moment i stepped out of school with him exclaiming (or rather SHRIEKING)when he realised that dahh and i were going to join them to watch transformers and taufiq gave me his FIRST bewildered look. anw so sad we dint watch cause there were no tickets. and truthfully, im so broke again! )): i really must scold myself and keep a proper hold on my finances.

oh moose: thank you so much for waking me up in the morning and listening to all my talking of rubbish. for praying for me every morning and HAHA. i feel so mad now and yes! for the wonderful tune u came up with for heehee. the now-secret-song-but-tmr-will-be-revealed-song!! u sing totally well! but the guit was abit loud n ur voice was abit muffled BUT I STILL LOVE U((:

haha im talking to the SCARY-GIRL-WHO'S-TERRIFYING (and she just went to take another piece of bread to eat). she's obsessed with bread so now she becomes the SCARY-GIRL-WHO-EATS-BREAD-PAST-MIDNIGHT. hha she's threatening me!!! (help.) with a piece of bread. BUT I DO THANK GOD FOR THIS YOUNG SPRITELY terrifying girl. grins. yupp for making me so comfy about going so madd and being myself((:



haha!
im watching sailormoon!! oh man! what a long childhood!!
anw, i must say my mum rocks for buying me lovely heels and shoes tt's really v nice!! and i know tt my cts arent going to be great but ill just thank gid all the same(:

thank you god for always being there.

back to sailormoon((:

Labels: ohh the river flowssss.

12:50 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i need prayer. anyone.

mon-bio
tues-gp and econs
wed-chem
thurs-maths.

for the record, i haven started on chem and my econs is.

alright i shant go on about how messed up things can be.

god i need you.
more than ever.
come and take me away.
i wish you could.

or at least for a moment.
just one moment.

oh, flutter.
this heart beats.
for whom, for what?

for you ,
my darling,
let your love bring me to you.

and in that moment,
let my soul fly with you to heaven.
or taste of riches and peace.

oh yes peace.

take my life
and consecrate it lord to Thee.

i thank god for parents who care.
for dad who wakes at 4 plus 5 to fetch me fm the airport.
thank you.

and for mum who sounded really funny on the phone,
asking me to quickly come home.

i can cry.

Labels: You were as i.

1:58 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i miss camp terribly.


CAMPFIRE TOTALLY ROCKED!!!

PRINGLES ROCKED!!

hehe.
oh i have so so much to say but i cant possibly say now cause im not even supp to be online now.
i should be bathing and studying.
anw, i really want to say god has been so good.

and i need so much more of your grace and strength to see me thru.
i might just go berserk.

ughh.

studying in school today somehow seemed so tiring i don't know why.
but it made me realise i miss camp so much.
and probably not having to study at all.
sighs.

i lift my hands to the heavens





i will update soon.

Labels: pick me up when i fall.

10:46 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

mount alvernia:
its amazing how you can miss a person you've just met in these five days.
MISS ZZEEEEE!! I MISS YOU! haha. if you're even reading this!
and i miss the salad in the staff canteen!

and make me think so much and wonder what i'm really going to get into.
i seem so unsure of becoming a doctor, with all its dificulties and pressure and stress and horrible stuff that can happen to you. not physically, but mentally and emotionally.


ughh.

im shuddering, yes i am, but you, lord,
still compel me to go there.
its scary and, and, all so frightening.
but jeremiah says,

"For I know the plans i have for you,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

and again in joshua,

" be strong and very courageous,"

and i am so amazed at how you work lord.

im so consumed by thoughts and doubts,
and yet at the same time my heart cries out for you to come.
come and take all these away.
and you never ever fail me.
never.
when i have failed you so many times.
when the people i trust and hope in fail me.
when i trust in my own strength and end up more broken than before.
how can i say thanks?
thank you for being there for me.


talking to aunty sk that day somehow seemed great and brought back lots of fond memories. wished i could pour everything out to her.
and she asked me whom i was close to in church.
(steffi i miss you!)
i miss HAHAS loads.the familiarity. the driving-both-ting-and-char-nuts. the singing and talking rubbish at the top of our lungs.

i cant pinpoint exactly who im close to.
but i cant ask for more.
with you, jesus, with me all the time, i can not ask for more.


it's so fast. two more weeks to dreaded CTs.
i shouldn be bloggin right now but im waiting for dad in the office.
the com has finally upgraded to smth that does not require waiting for more than 2 min! hooray(:
at least there is campFIRE to look forward to. ohh esther. i cant wait to hear all your experiences in diving!

sighs.and please stop saying i mug too much.
i dont.

with my brain capacity and wonderful memory, laughs.

what happened to best friends?
will i let go?



















caron caron.
prune your hair and sing a song.
caron caron.
jump around, shout AMen!
caron caron.
hit your books and clean your ear.

extremely random. and i actually have a tune in my head.
poh my. poh my.


no more cartoons. no more slacking. no more "i dont feel like studying" syndromes
please.

its all God.and study.
with bits and pieces of going madd by myself here and there.
hopefully i dont go too mad.

Labels: im dreeaming of a white christmas

7:23 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

hallelujah
hallelujah
hallelujah



thank you for loving me.

saved by your mercy
im found in your grace
totally surrendered to your embrace.


why is it everytime i want to blog i forget all that i want to say.

i want to come back to you.
some decisions are hard to make aint it?

be the missing bit in my heart.





this piece is often loose and falls out.
lord jesus, be the missing piece and fit in perfectly.
i pray.
please.


and i need to study.
hard.

visting imh has been great.
the place is really nice...
and the nurses are so passionate about their work..one nurse workd there for 34 yrs!
i thank god for a sound mind and for making me the person that i am,
giving people to love, people who love me,
for giving me everything i have.
i am going to study hard,

god be my sole source of strength and the one that motivates me to study.

next whole wk of attachment at mt alvernia either breaks me or makes me.
i will study during the nights.

caron is caron no more on her own.

Labels: god keep me sane.

10:13 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

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all the brothers and sisters

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of old.

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credits.

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wonderful people

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